HANNAFORD: The Deerhunter, Trudeau-style

Let us say you are a sport hunter.And let us say that you live in New Zealand.And let us further imagine that you and your wife see an advertisement offering the opportunity to hunt deer, in Canada, at the expense of the Government of Canada. Not only will the Government of Canada get you there at no charge. It will also supply the guns and ammo.There are two possible responses.Him: ‘Hot damn! Where do I apply?’Her: ‘Hot scam, more like! That’s ridiculous. Why would the Government of Canada fly you all the way over there, pay your hotel bill, provide you with a gun and ammo, when they’ve only got a half a zillion hunters of their own from Cape Race to Nootka Sound, who already have guns and will travel anywhere for a free hunt? Bazza, for heaven’s sake! Last month you gave somebody $100 to cover registration, because they said you’d won a trip! It’s a racket. Don’t you see?’Well, Her is right. It is a racket.But Him would have won the argument.That’s because as reported earlier today, the Government of Canada did indeed bring in hunters — “expert marksmen” — from New Zealand and also from the USA, to eradicate a population of Euopean Fallow Deer on Sidney Island, a parcel of sand, overbrush and recreational lots off Vancouver Island’s Saanich Peninsula. (The black-tailed deer variety native to the island, were to be left alone.)And they're spending $12 million to do it.You can’t make this stuff up..Based on documents acquired through an Access to Information request by the Canadian Taxpayers Federation, we now know that this was exactly the deal. Notwithstanding the fact that Canada has no shortage of hunters, and that there are plenty of Canadian Armed Forces veterans who qualify as expert marksmen — including one world-record setting sniper — Ottawa shipped in outside help.Nothing against the Kiwis, or the Yanks for that matter. But seriously? What doorknob thought this was a good idea? And who in heaven’s name signed off on it?Perhaps it was just woolly, wokey thinking in overdrive. (Parks Canada is famous for this. Read the full ‘Fur to Forest’ plan here.)It could have been an intentional snub: the imported help was issued with firearms that are outlawed under Liberal gun legislation. Screw those gun creeps in Alberta!The removal of a settler species could even have been a subliminal blow for decolonization.Or perhaps — and this is always the safest best — it was just typical Ottawa stupidity.After all:Our record setting sniper, if he’s still available, made his kill at 3,540 metres; at its widest point, Sidney Island looks to be not much more than 2,000 metres across. No capability gap there.To hunt deer on an island of 8.66 sq.km that you could walk end to end in an hour, Parks Canada spent $67,000 on chartering a helicopter.They also spent $137,000 on “firearms certification for international workers,” when plenty of Canadians have already certified at their own expense.Out of the 84 deer shot, they killed 18 of the wrong ones.Residents of Sidney Island organized their own hunt last fall. They killed 54 deer at no cost to taxpayers. And probably had fun doing it.The expression for uncleverness used to be something about not being able to organize a drunk-fest in a brewery. I suggest that when an even greater condemnation of governmental ineptitude, perversity and caprice is required, this moment should be brought to mind. If you can't organize a deer hunt in Canada, by Canadians, then you really are — what did I call them? — a doorknob.

HANNAFORD: The Deerhunter, Trudeau-style

Related Stories