With rising interest rates and out-of-control inflation many Canadians are having a tough time making ends meet..You know things are bad when CTV news runs an article titled, “Turning to dollar stores for groceries? Here's what a dietician recommends.”.While I am in favour of sharing cost-saving tips and health tips to help struggling Canadians, I’d prefer the government didn’t put them in that position in the first place..But believe it or not, I’ve stumbled on the best way to circumvent the financial hardships of simply existing in Canada nowadays..You won’t have to work any harder than you are currently, nor will you have to meet any sort of expectations or be held to any obligations. In fact, money will almost literally fall into your lap..It sounds too good to be true right? Except it isn’t..So, in the spirit of goodwill I’ll share my newfound worry-free financial knowledge. Do you have a pen and paper handy because here it is — just change your last name to Irving or Weston..It’s that simple. Do that and the government will undoubtedly throw millions at you without you ever actually deserving it or even asking for it..If you think I’m being facetious, I’m not..On Aug. 15 of this year, David Pugliese reported in the Ottawa Citizen that Irving would be receiving $463 million in taxpayer dollars to upgrade its shipyards. These funds were necessary to build the Royal Canadian Navy’s (RCN) new Canadian Surface Combatants (CSC.). Artistic renderings of the Canadian Surface Combatant.Artistic renderings of the Type 26 Canadian Surface Combatant. .The problem though is that at the time Irving was selected to build the CSC’s in 2011, a stipulation of the National Shipbuilding Strategy was that for the contract to be awarded, the shipyard must have the facilities capable to do so without taxpayer support for upgrades. If not, they weren’t supposed to get the contract..So, despite the fact Irving should not have been awarded the contract in the first place, the Government is going to give the shipyard, a company with $2.67 billion in revenues in 2021, more money and entirely it seems just because they’re Irving..I’ll understand if you’re still a bit reluctant to change your last name based one just one example, so let me give you another..After all any sound financial advice always has some contemporary historical data to back it up, and for that we only have to look back four years to April of 2019..Some of you might recall that in April 2019, Catherine McKenna was then our illustrious environment minister..It was she who announced on April 9 that year, that the Trudeau government would be giving $12 million to the Galen Weston-owned Loblaws conglomerate to upgrade their freezers and fridges with more energy efficient models. Small independent grocers across the country were furious as they stood to benefit the most from that sort of subsidy yet received nothing..Those small grocers weren’t wrong to be mad either..Loblaws is a money-making machine whose net earnings in 2022, were $1.99 billion. This is a company that is so wealthy that $12 million is practically a rounding error and they could have easily upgraded their fridges without government assistance..But, when you’ve got a last name like Weston, the current government has your back. Which makes me wonder if Jagmeet Singh remembers that he’s supporting the government who bankrolled 'Greedy Galen.'.Regardless, if you don’t like either Weston or Irving as last names you would be equally well advised to go onto the Liberal Party website and click on the link to 'Your Liberal MPs' and select a last name at random..Then, in theory, all you should have to do is shoot that MP an email claiming to be a long-lost relation or old friend and boom...odds are a juicy government contract will fall into your lap..Just ask the friends, family and associates of MP’s Mary Ng, Dominic Leblanc and Greg Fergus all of whom were found to have violated the Conflict of Interest and Ethics Act..The best part of my financial advice is you don’t have to feel guilty about it..In reality it’s just your tax dollars that you’re syphoning back into your own pocket. Not only that, but with the ethics commissioner position being vacant for the past six months, and likely for the foreseeable future, who’s going to hold you to account? No one, certainly not the liberals — it’s not what one would call their strong suit..So in closing, if financial troubles have you down, don’t worry, just take my advice and change your last name or buddy up with a Liberal MP. It seems that this is the best way for the government to act on your behalf.
With rising interest rates and out-of-control inflation many Canadians are having a tough time making ends meet..You know things are bad when CTV news runs an article titled, “Turning to dollar stores for groceries? Here's what a dietician recommends.”.While I am in favour of sharing cost-saving tips and health tips to help struggling Canadians, I’d prefer the government didn’t put them in that position in the first place..But believe it or not, I’ve stumbled on the best way to circumvent the financial hardships of simply existing in Canada nowadays..You won’t have to work any harder than you are currently, nor will you have to meet any sort of expectations or be held to any obligations. In fact, money will almost literally fall into your lap..It sounds too good to be true right? Except it isn’t..So, in the spirit of goodwill I’ll share my newfound worry-free financial knowledge. Do you have a pen and paper handy because here it is — just change your last name to Irving or Weston..It’s that simple. Do that and the government will undoubtedly throw millions at you without you ever actually deserving it or even asking for it..If you think I’m being facetious, I’m not..On Aug. 15 of this year, David Pugliese reported in the Ottawa Citizen that Irving would be receiving $463 million in taxpayer dollars to upgrade its shipyards. These funds were necessary to build the Royal Canadian Navy’s (RCN) new Canadian Surface Combatants (CSC.). Artistic renderings of the Canadian Surface Combatant.Artistic renderings of the Type 26 Canadian Surface Combatant. .The problem though is that at the time Irving was selected to build the CSC’s in 2011, a stipulation of the National Shipbuilding Strategy was that for the contract to be awarded, the shipyard must have the facilities capable to do so without taxpayer support for upgrades. If not, they weren’t supposed to get the contract..So, despite the fact Irving should not have been awarded the contract in the first place, the Government is going to give the shipyard, a company with $2.67 billion in revenues in 2021, more money and entirely it seems just because they’re Irving..I’ll understand if you’re still a bit reluctant to change your last name based one just one example, so let me give you another..After all any sound financial advice always has some contemporary historical data to back it up, and for that we only have to look back four years to April of 2019..Some of you might recall that in April 2019, Catherine McKenna was then our illustrious environment minister..It was she who announced on April 9 that year, that the Trudeau government would be giving $12 million to the Galen Weston-owned Loblaws conglomerate to upgrade their freezers and fridges with more energy efficient models. Small independent grocers across the country were furious as they stood to benefit the most from that sort of subsidy yet received nothing..Those small grocers weren’t wrong to be mad either..Loblaws is a money-making machine whose net earnings in 2022, were $1.99 billion. This is a company that is so wealthy that $12 million is practically a rounding error and they could have easily upgraded their fridges without government assistance..But, when you’ve got a last name like Weston, the current government has your back. Which makes me wonder if Jagmeet Singh remembers that he’s supporting the government who bankrolled 'Greedy Galen.'.Regardless, if you don’t like either Weston or Irving as last names you would be equally well advised to go onto the Liberal Party website and click on the link to 'Your Liberal MPs' and select a last name at random..Then, in theory, all you should have to do is shoot that MP an email claiming to be a long-lost relation or old friend and boom...odds are a juicy government contract will fall into your lap..Just ask the friends, family and associates of MP’s Mary Ng, Dominic Leblanc and Greg Fergus all of whom were found to have violated the Conflict of Interest and Ethics Act..The best part of my financial advice is you don’t have to feel guilty about it..In reality it’s just your tax dollars that you’re syphoning back into your own pocket. Not only that, but with the ethics commissioner position being vacant for the past six months, and likely for the foreseeable future, who’s going to hold you to account? No one, certainly not the liberals — it’s not what one would call their strong suit..So in closing, if financial troubles have you down, don’t worry, just take my advice and change your last name or buddy up with a Liberal MP. It seems that this is the best way for the government to act on your behalf.