(Editor's note: Some spelling idiosyncrasies accepted for the sake of phonetic authenticity.).Boy did I upset a bunch of townies from Newfoundland for using the "N" word in a headline recently..It's not the "N" word you're thinking of. I would never say that, but the word I did say was Newfie. (Cue the hate mail from town.) But suddenly, something I identified myself as my entire life, is now all of a sudden derogatory 'cause the crowd from town (St. John's) and Google says it is..I wonder if they voted Liberal?.Shouldn't Newfies back home be more worried about the new sugar tax, or the monopoly of Marine Atlantic and Justin's carbon tax than a Newfie news reporter writing the word Newfie in a headline? Yes I said Newfie a bunch of times then..However, I believe not all townies believe this, only a select few who haven't been past the overpass on the 'TCH.' (That's Newfie for Trans-Canada Highway.) Us baymen, even though my hometown (Whitbourne) doesn't have salt water, pride ourselves on being Newfies. Jayzus, it's how we get jobs in Alberta. Say you're a Newfie... bam, hired!.I was once told by my Postmedia boss, a Newfie is as good as a staff of five mainlanders (no offence, mainlanders.) Yes, we like to work. And I swear, and when Friday hits there's a fire lit in some Newfie's shed somewhere with a feed of moose on the stove..How come the left are now deciding if I can call myself something that's been used for a 100 years? 'Cause they said so, that's why. Will I comply? Big fat Newfie no! No sir, I'll be a Newfie till I dies. Western Standard Editor Dave Naylor will tell you this because of my grammar skills. Poor editor Mike D'Amour is about to have a stroke..Yes, I sometimes write the way I talk. I can't help it, I'm a Newfie!. ScreechScreech is not cheap, you'll notice. .Anyways, Ivy back home had a few words to say to me, which she is entitled to. However, I won't stop using the word and I won't apoligize. I won't say I'm wrong when I know I'm right. But I will be the first to admit when I am wrong. It's the Newfie way. How many times did I write the word Newfie so far? Are you counting? I'm not. 'Cause its no big deal!.Ask the Newfies working in -40C here in Alberta, 80-foot up on a scaffold..Shout out to Bonnyville Newfies, thanks for keeping my arse warm. Keep pumping that oil..In the oilfield in Alberta, there is Newfie John, and Newfie Don, Newfie Ron, and the list goes on and on. It's what we are known as on the mainland, Ivy! Newfies! 'Cause that's what we are!.My ancestors didn't die in Beaumont-Hamel for nothing. They also identified as Newfie's. Jesus the Germans even put it on a sign for them to see. I toured the site with a British solider who told me when battles were beginning, what ever side the Newfie's were on — the left or right — they reinforced the opposite side..'Cause Newfie's get the job done. And this Newfie is the same way! I get the job done. .My post on Twitter about Ivy got quite the attention. Internet, don't be hard on Ivy. She's a Newfie. We band together and look after each other. I can attest to all the baked goods I've had delivered over the last five years from mainland Newfies. They even found me North of 60 and delivered a few tea buns on a cold day. Lanny McDonald even calls me Newf. The entire Hockey Day in Canada crew did, along with the Sportsnet b'ys..I was the only one with matches at -65C. Lighters don't work in that kind of cold. God bless the Newfie for starting the fire and keeping Phil's (keeper of the cup) hands warm with my Newfie made wolf fur mitts that day..A Newfie will never drive you outdoors, and within five minutes of entering their house the kettle is boiled and a scoff is laid out. Ya might even get a nip of Screech..We wear green rubber boots, shoot the 12 gauges off on New Years Eve and we peel potato's in Sobey's bags. Well, not anymore. Thanks, Justin..And we have parties in the kitchen..I is a Newfie from Newfoundland and I'm damn proud to call myself one!.Merry Christmas to the b'ys from the Newfie with the microphone. Long may you big jib draw.
