Complaining about the weather is as Canadian as maple syrup and a cup of Timmies on a cold day. Or even winter itself. “Cold enough for ya?” is a typical Canuckistanian greeting among the species, while shivering in -35C windchills..Before I indulge in my unique Canadian whiny-ness and riff on an equally contentious concept — ‘catastrophic’ climate change — I want to make it perfectly clear: I am NOT a climate denier. I’m not even a climate ‘skeptic’ (although I do indeed have some reservations about the so-called science and whether it is indeed ‘settled’ after the latest Arctic blast that blew through this weekend.) Even when it seems counterintuitive to suggest this latest round of winter was caused by a dome of warm air over the North Pole, as so-called ‘experts’ claim. Cold comfort when your car won’t start..Climate change IS real. I took 300-level planetary geology courses (the only Arts major at U of A to do so) and can attest wild fluctuations in climate have irrevocably altered the landforms and evolution of life on Earth. Fact..You don’t have to be a petroleum geologist to know about the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs and bestowed Alberta with its endowment of oil and gas riches. One need only to look west to the mountains to see the impact of the ensuing glaciation on the local landscape..That much is beyond dispute. We can quibble on government policies and the best way to address the issue, but what I take exception to is the word ‘catastrophic’ — which is tossed around far to loosely to have any relevant meaning to this particular debate, diminishing the importance of a serious issue..‘Catastrophism’ is in fact, a geologic term. Early geologists strove to reconcile the rock record with Biblical creation narratives and especially the Great Flood. These ‘natural theologians’ came to the inevitable conclusion the only way Earth could have been created in seven days was a direct consequence of massive upheavals and massive natural disasters. In the 20th century it has taken on a somewhat derogatory connotation of trying to make scientific facts fit a preconceived conclusion..Sound familiar?. YYC historical mean temperature100 years of Calgary climate data… notice a pattern? I don’t either. .That said, I AM a huge believer in ‘catastrophic’ climate change because I live in Alberta. We experience it firsthand almost every day. The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) defines ‘catastrophic’ climate change as two degrees warming over 100 years. Laugh out loud. Really?.In Calgary we see 48 degrees COOLING in 48 hours. The results are truly catastrophic in a real, tangible sense. Last week Calgary cops responded to more than 125 car crashes in less than 24 hours; I’m sure it was the same in Edmonton and probably worse in Grande Prairie. I don’t need to know how many people were killed or maimed on icy highways. .And that’s not all. Water pipes freeze. Pets and children can catch frostbite in under 60 seconds. Hypothermia is a real threat. I don’t know how many homeless people and drunks died on the sidewalk when I was working at rural weeklies and the windchills were -50. An unspecified number of people suffer cardiac arrest shovelling their driveways..Not to mention 24-hour waits for tow trucks and boosts when your car won’t start. My alternator went and I’m still waiting to get it fixed because the mechanic is slammed. And it’s going to cost $1,000. Ouch. That’s a catastrophe alright..The danger is real. And it’s times like these we collectively, as Canadians — by instinct — know it’s just better to stay at home and off the roads. It’s in our culture. That’s why I’m not scared if the sky is falling. Because when it does, I put on a pair of Long Johns and a touque and make a toddy..And suck it up, Buttercup.
