Why here? Why us? Just why?
These were the questions on the minds of those who returned to the scene of the horrific Lapu Lapu Day festival attack in Vancouver, which left eleven people dead and dozens more injured.
Staring through police tape at the aftermath of the senseless massacre, members of the Filipino community tried desperately to find answers to what Police Chief Steve Rai referred to as "the darkest day in the city's history."
It quickly became clear, however, that there was simply no way to make sense of what had happened; it was inexplicable.
The incident took place on a quiet block of East 43rd St. between St. George St. and Fraser St. While numerous videos had been posted to social media, it was only upon seeing the scene first-hand that the scale of the carnage became clear.
Strewn between the rows of food trucks were pieces of car parts, clothing, and shoes — including a baby-sized Nike runner. Bright green numbered evidence markers allowed onlookers to follow the trail of destruction like a grotesque game of connect the dots.
Typically when a vehicle tries to stop suddenly, it will leave skid marks in its wake. There were no such streaks visible on the street, their absence serving as further evidence of the sheer evil perpetrated that night.
The police tape will eventually be removed and the wreckage carted away, but the events that took place on that block will live fresh in the minds of community members for years, if not decades, into the future.
While not everyone experienced the attack the same way — some witnessed it, others left moments before and found out that they'd escaped death by a hair's breadth, and many were miles away and saw things unfold via social media — everyone was traumatized.
Among those who fell into the second category was Benedict, a 14-year-old Filipino. Staring out at the debris-laden street, he told the Western Standard that after spending the entire day enjoying the festival, he had left shortly before 8 p.m. to go to a birthday party. That decision, he learned a short time later, may have saved his life.
Benedict said two people he knew had been injured in the attack, but made it clear that that number could easily have been much higher had the attack taken place in the middle of the day when the crowds were even larger.
"Even if you left early, it still hurts," he added, explaining that given the tight-knit nature of the Filipino community, everybody knew someone who was directly impacted in one way or another.
The survivor's guilt was palpable.
"I couldn't sleep last night," he said. "What if I stayed there for longer? It's a lot to process."
Benedict went on to note that despite barely getting any rest, he — like countless others in the deeply religious Filipino community — went to church Sunday morning, then bought a bouquet of flowers to bring one of the many memorials in the area.
"A lot of people were crying," he added. "It breaks my heart, because this isn't something that you'd expect to happen at an event full of fun, smiling happy people trying to just bond with the community."
There were so many unanswered questions. How had the perpetrator slipped through the system and been allowed to drive? Why the lack of law enforcement? Why was the only thing preventing a vehicle from driving down the street had been a flimsy plastic a-frame barricade?
A man whose wife was Filipina told the Western Standard that he had come to pick her and their children up from the festival just minutes before the suspect drove into the crowd. Fighting back tears, he said had he known what was about to happen, he would have used his truck to block the entrance himself.
Those who have had any experience with the Filipino community know that along with being some of the kindest, happiest people on earth, they also know how to fight and overcome adversity.
All those qualities were on full display Sunday as hundreds, if not thousands, paid their respects to the victims and vowed not to let the tragedy define them.
It was incredible to see people from all backgrounds, all walks of life, joining forces to help those impacted. Candles were lit, messages were written, and hugs were shared as the best aspects of humanity rose to counter the worst.
To the Filipino community, tumayo kaming lahat kasama mo ❤️