Cold enough for ya?
Canadians love to brag about surviving brutal winters, but this week, they have the weather receipts to prove it.
According to WX-Now, which tracks extreme global weather, eight of the ten coldest places on Earth on Wednesday were in Alberta, British Columbia, and the Yukon — right behind Siberia, because of course.
Leading the frostbite charge is Watson Lake, Yukon, which hit a face-numbing -44C, earning the dubious honour of being the coldest inhabited place in the world today. Not far behind is High Level, where 4,000 very chilly residents woke up to a brisk -39C.
Over in Grande Prairie, the city was officially the coldest place on the planet as of Tuesday morning, a fun fact no one there is particularly happy about.
Alberta is particularly suffering, with multiple cities — including Chetwynd, Cold Lake, High Level, and Slave Lake — also making the list of the world’s frostiest locations. Environment and Climate Change Canada (ECCC) has issued extreme cold warnings across the province, warning of wind chills dipping below -40C and reminding everyone that “if it’s too cold for you, it’s too cold for your pet.” (Your dog is begging you to listen.)
In an appropriate — and obvious — use of taxpayer dollars, ECCC also advises dressing warmly, layering up, and watching for cold-related symptoms like numb fingers, chest pain, and, presumably, questioning all life choices that led to living in a place colder than Mars.
While the deep freeze is expected to ease slightly by midweek, Alberta and the BC Peace region are still looking at temperatures in the mid-negative-teens — practically tropical by comparison.
But first, a little lore on the origins of the term ‘brass monkey’ weather.
The popular phrase “cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey” is thought to have originated from naval slang, referring to a brass rack (a ‘monkey’) holding cannonballs that would supposedly contract in the cold and cause the balls to fall off.
However, there’s no historical evidence supporting this explanation or that it originated in the aptly named Great White North.
For those wondering, the actual coldest place on Earth isn’t even in Canada (yet). That honour goes to the Eastern Antarctic Plateau, where temperatures have plummeted to a truly horrifying -98C.
Until Canada finds a way to one-up that, Albertans and Yukoners can at least take pride in being the frostbite capital of the (inhabited) world.
