For thousands of years people have used the words ‘gender’ and ‘sex’ interchangeably. .Sex refers to biological and physiological characteristics, such as your private bits and the inside stuff, such as your hormones and chromosomes. .It’s a very flexible word, and can be used in a compliment: “you sexy thing” or as a reason to check on your vegetables, as in “let’s have sex in the garden” as opposed to “let’s sleep together” which doesn’t always involve sleeping. .An example of the proper use of the word ‘sex’ in a question would be “What sex are you? Female or male?” which should be obvious to the person asking, unless the asker is blind, in which case he or she wouldn’t know if someone was a sexy thing, nor would he or she be able to find the garden without assistance..However, in this Age of Woke, gender and sex actually refer to two different things..According to a pamphlet published by The Division of Student Affairs, Intercultural Engagement, at the University of North Carolina, neither gender nor sex is binary and it’s not true that there are only two sexes. Some people are intersex or have a difference of sexual development (DSD)..The pamphlet’s purpose is to instruct students on the proper use of pronouns..Says the pamphlet: “Pronouns are words that a person may use to identify themselves instead of their name. For example, she/her/hers and he/him/his are typically feminine and masculine pronouns, respectively.”.“However, some feel more comfortable with gender-neutral pronouns. The most common gender-neutral pronouns are they/them/theirs used in the singular to refer to an individual in a way that isn’t gendered. Some people will use more than one set of pronouns, and you are encouraged to alternate among them in conversation.”.(As an aside, from this writer, please do not confuse their with there or they’re. They’re there for their own reasons.).You may have seen these pronouns on peoples’ name tags or social media posts, but it won’t be long before those pronouns are replaced by new ones, says the pamphlet..“Neopronouns are a category of new (neo) pronouns that are increasingly used in place of ‘she,’ ‘he,’ or ‘they’ when referring to a person.” .“Some examples include: xe/xem/xyr, ze/hir/hirs, and ey/em/eir. Neopronouns can be used by anyone, though most often they are used by transgender, non-binary, and/or gender nonconforming people.” .Each of the neopronouns above refer to ‘they’, ‘them’ and ‘their’, respectively and you, perhaps, are concerned about how to properly say them, or xem, or hir or em..Be not worried..“Don’t panic over pronunciation!” instructs the pamphlet. “While there are common ways to pronounce these pronouns, there are many variations, so it is best to ask. If someone trusts you enough to share their pronouns with you, you should feel comfortable asking for clarification if you need it!”.For example, says the pamphlet, you could say: “Hey there, Taylor, I noticed the pronoun ‘x-e’ on your name tag and I want to make sure I am pronouncing that right. Can you tell me how you pronounce it?”.First off, ‘Hey there’ is a terrible way to start a conversation, and of course, this instruction only works if the person’s name on the name tag actually is Taylor, in which case you could just call xem Taylor..Or, “You also might find yourself in a situation where you hear a pronoun you aren’t familiar with and don’t know how to use,” adds the pamphlet. “Try this: “Taylor, I heard you say you use ‘ze/zir’ pronouns and I want to make sure I’m using them correctly. Can you help me?”.Xe might reply with “no”, which is xyr prerogative. It is totally up to hir.
