The Liberal budget set aside $100 billion to build bike lanes along the entire length of the Trans Canada Hwy., the Western Standard has learned..The plan involves taking an existing lane, where there are currently more than two, and repurposing it into bike lanes. Traffic lights will be set up in areas where the TCH has only one lane each way and traffic will be forced to drive in alternate 15-minute stretches..To keep cyclists even safer, the RCMP will set up photo radar cameras every three kilometres to make sure no one strays over the speed limit.."This confirms our government's plan to take as many cars off the road as we can to improve the environment" said Trudeau.."There is really no reason if you have to visit your la grandmother in the hospital in Vancouver, and you live in Calgary, that you can't bike it in a couple of days.".Quebec Premier François Legault was tepid in his response, stating that he would only allow the construction through his province if Alberta paid for it, and if Muslim women were not allowed to wear headscarfs with their bike helmets. .Gold-medal winning Olympic cyclist Tom Rodewell supports the move, noting the Liberal-NDP coalition's drive to net zero will likely mean most vehicles will be outlawed from using the highway by 2030.."If you're not going to bike it, you'd better learn to like it," said Rodewell.."Canada's green shift means you're going to have to swap your Mustang for a Schwinn anyway. We may as well have the infrastructure ready to go.".But Moose Jaw trucker Tony Honkmore was livid upon learning the news, and vowed to lead a cross-Canada convoy to Ottawa the day the bike lane opens to the public. "If they thought the Freedom Convoy was bad, they'd better strap on their bike helmets cuz it's gonna get loud," an animated Honkmore said on a Tik Tok video. "And if any cyclists get in the way they're gonna know how a bug on a windshield feels." Green Party leader Elizabeth May said she supports the plan, as long as there are flowers planted along the route and cannabis stores every five to ten kilometres. Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre said he would support the plan if the pot stores accepted bitcoin for purchases..Users of the bike lanes through national parks will be forced to wear sidearms for protection against wild animals. Children under five will be exempt from the sidearm requirement..Alberta Premier Danielle Smith called the plan ludicrous.."I'm going to invoke the Alberta Sovereignty Act, or whatever it's called, to stop this bird-brained idea.".From of all us at the Western Standard, have a happy April Fools Day.
