Remember when flying was fun, not an ordeal?.You actually dressed up for it, even put on a suit or sport coat, because you knew it would be a special occasion and you wanted to look your best?.You had an actual ticket — a paper ticket in your hand — and it didn't take that long to get it. You probably even kept it as a souvenir of your trip..Yes, you waited in line. But it went fast and there was plenty of smiling staff to welcome you on your way — whether you were going on holidays or on business..And you only needed a passport if you were going to Europe or some other exotic destination..I still remember, the feeling of joy as I stepped on a plane. It didn't hit me, until that very moment..Getting on a CP Air DC-10 in Calgary, headed for Amsterdam.. CP AirCP Air .I was going to cover Ferrari great Gilles Villeneuve in the Dutch Grand Prix at Zandvoort — a Formula One track that has recently been totally re-done, by the way..The anticipated journey filled me with excitement all the way. And I had no fears that my luggage (a green Canadian Tire backpack with a Canadian flag) would make it..So, remember when you had plenty of legroom, plenty of overhead storage and as many drinks as you liked, along with a good meal..Sometimes, it was even on real China with branded silver utensils..True, airline food has never been great, unless you flew first class, but it was a helluva lot better than today's cold sandwiches..I used to ask for the window seat just to look out and see the places we were passing..Back then, the pilots also talked to us. They told us on the intercom when they were passing important sites. They don't seem to do that anymore..Sometimes, they even invited you to the flight deck and let you see what was happening. Those were the lucky kids!.That all ended on 9/11 of course. It's all closed cockpit now. Even if you're the Pope, you're not going up-front, not a chance..So anyway, let's move the clock forward to today's world..Flying now, is, well, an ordeal, sometimes even a nightmare. Long lineups of every kind at every turn..I recently flew to Paris, direct, on WestJet to attend Eursatory. They call it the 787 Dreamliner, but dear God ... it ain't no dream, let me tell you..I sat in back, which is a dreadful cattle car situation. Seats so tight, the food tray in front of you, falls right on your lap. It's beyond ridiculous..Worse yet, there are no air-con nozzles to point at you. The Dreamliner has a totally different air-con system, which, they say, is just as good. It's not.. CP Air .Trust me, I've been flying since the 1960s. It just isn't the same. It eventually does cool things off, but it sure takes a while to get there..The entertainment system is also so-so. No comparison, to say, a Thai Airways Airbus A380, which is the best entertainment system I've ever experienced..Incredible, in fact they even had Sinatra and Pavarotti!.And the overheads? Good luck if you're boarding last. You will have to go up and down the aisles, looking for a compartment that might still be open for your carry-on..Plus, you have to wear a damn mask, because the feds still say so. Completely unnecessary, IMO. Idiotically unnecessary..As one friend, Jeff, told me: "Does COVID know not to spread to people who pull down their masks to eat their airline meal and down their rye and Coke or wine?".What bloody nonsense..Anyway ... let's not digress..Thankfully, a wonderful WestJet flight attendant saw how badly my 6-ft. 1-in. frame was suffering, and gave me a note written on the back of a boarding pass..It went as follows: "Rows 10 — 14".She then told me, "On your way back, when you check in online, ask for any seat in rows 10-14, you have way more legroom in those seats.".She was right ... on my way back, I paid the extra 50 or so euros and got a seat in row 12, and it made a world of difference. Tons of legroom — it was great!.Not only that, but we were at the front, so we were the first to get food and drink. And, I must say, the food was OK, it wasn't bad. Flight crew was fast, friendly and efficient as well..And, yes, I had no luggage — just a carry-on and a backpack with my laptop. I packed Rick Steves style, very, very thrifty..As Rick says, when he gets off the plane the sniffer dog comes to him first. And, well, there is a reason for that! Wear the same clothes a few days, you don't need to have a new outfit for every day in Europe..We were late in arriving, however, and tons of passengers missed their connecting flights. The couple next to me were from a farm near Edmonton and were talking about renting a car and driving home..Better than paying a hotel out of their own pocket. I hope they ended up OK..On top of all this post-COVID calamity, airlines not having enough staff or pilots because of the big rush to travel again — our wonderful government, yes, Monkey Boy and his cronies, have decided to keep the ArriveCAN app..A procedure that supposedly slows things by 400%, according to Canadian Customs agents!.Ergo, thousands of flights cancelled, thousands of travellers caught in the chaos, and, lots and lots of missing or lost luggage. You've seen the news coverage, so I'm not exaggerating. It's a full-fledged disaster..A friend told me the Apple stores in Calgary were sold out of tracking devices, which can be tossed into a suitcase and allow the passenger to accurately track its whereabouts..Recently, they also reinstated random COVID-19 testing at airports, which will probably slow things down even more..And despite the hiring of new security staff, it takes months to train them properly, so there won't be any immediate relief at big airports, despite what Transport Minister Omar Alghabra says..I wouldn't believe a thing that guy said, anyway. He doesn't exactly inspire confidence..At a time when monkeypox (no relation to the PM) was spreading and becoming more of a concern, we are still stuck in 2020, when COVID-19 first hit..It's basically one big clusterf--k, and, the government is just spinning its wheels, and telling us how great they are in fixing it..I know this is a first world problem. The main thing is the airline gets you to your destination safely and Canadian airlines are good at that..But the glory days of air travel are long over..The time when you got on a Wardair flight and were treated to one long party on the way to Europe, with fun-loving, friendly flight attendants and crews, ended long ago..A buddy of mine was on an Air Canada flight, in business class, when he saw an FA pounding — yes pounding — his laptop into an overhead bin..He stopped her, and took it from her, fearful she would damage it. She then stormed off to the captain, and demanded he be booted from the flight..He was a dangerous flight risk, she claimed..After a lengthy chat with said captain, who obviously had more brains, he realized this was much ado about nothing, and let my buddy continue his flight..The FA steamed, feeling humiliated ... and she bloody well deserved it..Keep in mind, this is business class! LOL! Big money for that ticket, paid by his employer..But it just reminded me, of how incredibly stupid things had become..I know, being an FA is a tough job, especially post-COVID-19, and I know people can be jerks, but please, show some humanity. Don't treat us like a herd of cattle. We are your passengers, not your prisoners..Let's leave the bad Con Air flying experiences to Nicolas Cage..Then again, I wish I had gotten the name of that WestJet FA, who basically saved my bacon on the flight back to Calgary from Charles de Gaulle airport..When she brought round the drinks cart, I whispered to her, "What are my chances of getting a couple whiskeys?".She smiled, and said, "I hear you, buddy, I hear you ... but not very good.".I responded: "What kind of bar is this?".We both laughed.
