HANNAFORD: Ode to the old bird — and why it got so old before it was replaced

Much as we are dazzled daily by the stumbles and fumbles of the prime minister, his government’s decision to replace the Government of Canada’s CC-150 Polaris executive transport — albeit likely made in pique — was a good one and actually long overdue.We assume the precipitating factor was Mr. Trudeau’s peculiar misfortune in India. Already as popular there as a pork chop in a synagogue, he was obliged to extend his stay by two days when the old aircraft went mechanical in New Delhi.Barely two months later therefore, the Government of Canada took delivery of the replacement CC-330 Husky. For the incurably cynical of course, this is proof the Trudeau Liberals can buy aircraft as fast as anybody else when the PM’s convenience is on the line. Sadly, that doesn’t extend to the F-35.But although the Polaris has been an issue for years, there is a good reason why it took an international embarrassment to get a replacement approved.It’s that dog-in-the-manger public resentment that the press awakens whenever a public official seems to be living too well. They play it up like sexual addiction. Some people even object to having jets for prime ministers at all. They should think about it: The prime minister can’t even go for Indian food without angry mobs swarming him. You want to be on a plane with him?Anyway, courtesy of my six-year gig as manager of Stephen Harper’s speechwriting department, I spent a lot of hours on the now-repurposed Polaris RCAF 001.Like the new Husky, it too was an Airbus and also like Husky RCAF 002, it was bought second hand. That we never buy anything new is the first and necessary defence against the reckless spending narrative. The new one, eight years old, was picked up on the cheap in Kuwait. The old one, built in 1987, came from Wardair.Wardair was a spunky little outfit that tried to provide good service at competitive fares, but ultimately didn’t make it. Its aircraft went to Air Canada, Air Canada didn’t want them and they were dumped on the Canadian Armed Forces. In fact, RCAF 001 still had Wardair paraphernalia; I well remember a stewardess heading for the PM’s door with chocolate bars on a tray that after more than 20 years in government service, still had a Wardair sticker on it.Because the plane was acquired by the Mulroney government, then-Liberal leader Jean Chretien immediately deployed the resentment narrative. He joked about “Air Farce One” and dubbed the glowering, military grey behemoth with the uncomfortable seats ‘the flying Taj Mahal.’ He swore that as PM, he would never use it. Nor did he — one Liberal promise that was actually kept.As for the pearl-clutching accusation that the Flying TM had a bedroom — well, it did. And if you have ever slept in an Airstream trailer, with the fake wood walls and laminate counter tops, that’s what it was like.Much has been made in reports of the new plane, that unlike the old CC-150, there were now laptop plug-ins at all the seats. No more cables strung up the aisle. Good, I guess, but I don’t recall that being an issue; for one thing the diligent 437 Squadron crews went to some trouble to string them between the seats and the walls. You could plug in your laptop, charge your Blackberry.What you couldn’t do, was keep in non-stop touch as you travelled. There were dead spots in the South Pacific where we were completely off-line. World War III could have started and we wouldn’t have known until we got to Noumea. (New Caledonia, a French-controlled airstrip that identifies as an island.)Presumably, they now have that sorted out. And, the Husky being a larger plane with longer range, no more Ottawa-Fairbanks-Noumea-Perth for the Australian trips.So, all this we knew 20 years ago.What took so long to get a new plane?Here's what. On one of those interminable trans-Pacific trips, I left my relatively comfortable seat up front by the Airstream to democratically hang out with the press corps. But Comms Director Andrew MacDougall was already there, trying to settle down a grumpy MSM reporter.Reporter: “This bloody plane. There’s no stuffing in the seats, they’re stacked up like economy, you can’t get comfortable and we’re in the air for 27 hours. Why don’t you get something better?”MacDougall: “You know damn well.”Reporter: “What do you mean?”MacDougall: “If we got a new plane, you’d write a story about how we were wasting public money. Wouldn’t you?”Brief pause.Reporter (grudgingly): “Yeah. I suppose we might…”There you have it. That’s also the mentality that makes it impossible to fix up 24 Sussex Drive and makes a national crisis out of an expensive orange juice in a foreign hotel, when these people have no choice in where they stay.Canadians are an unforgiving lot.Anyway, I suppose I should congratulate the prime minister on his courageous decision. Maybe he could make one for Sussex Drive.Meanwhile, keep this new aircraft going. That may be all we get for another 30 years.

HANNAFORD: Ode to the old bird — and why it got so old before it was replaced

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