In AD 9, a young Roman hostage from the Germanic Cherusci tribe was leading an auxiliary military group deep into the Teutoburg Forest. With him were the seventeenth, eighteenth, and nineteenth Legions of the Roman Imperial Army led by Publius Quinctilius Varus. Varus mistook the Latin-speaking Arminius for a Roman patriot, and he died ruing that mistake. Arminius, raised in Rome and kept as a hostage to maintain peace with his father’s tribe, hated the Romans and led the legions deep into the German forest, where they were ambushed and left to die in the swamp that prevented their escape. I thought of Arminius when the Carney government announced that it is offering citizenship to foreign soldiers who join and serve in the Canadian Armed Forces. For reference, the Germanic Arminius was a Roman citizen of the equestrian class, second in rank to the senatorial class. Why does Carney think that offering citizenship via service with the Canadian Armed Forces is a good idea? Is there a shortage of adventurous young men in Canada? Is even the allure of tampon dispensers in the men’s washrooms an insufficient incentive for Canadian males to join up? Are young men put off by old and decaying infrastructure? Are Canadian males such pansies that they want military equipment that works and ammunition that is available when needed? Is this why the Canadian Armed Forces are 12% under strength?So, who are the foreign soldiers that the Carney government hopes to entice to Canada with offers of expedited citizenship? Will they admit members of the Wagner group who are attached to the Russian army? How about a few platoons of mujahedin from Central Asian armies? What would we say if two battalions of American Marines showed up to earn their Canadian citizenship? They all seem like “elbows up” kinds of guys..In all honesty, it is a bit difficult to understand what the Canadian government is trying to do with this change in citizenship requirements. Is this just another attempt to close the recruitment gap for the Canadian Armed Forces? The last remarkably dumb, “big idea” to close the recruitment gap was to offer one week per year of military training to Canadian civil servants. But don't we remember the male civil servants running over female civil servants to escape the House of Commons shooting in 2014? Maybe it is the men's bathrooms in the House of Commons that lack feminine hygiene equipment.Or maybe the recruitment problems are best solved by treating members of the Canadian Armed Forces as soldiers who are trained to kill rather than as peacekeepers who need ready access to feminine products. Maybe it is time for our “smartest guy in the room” Prime Minister to spend some time in Canada and offer solutions that go beyond “elbows up” with our new BFFs from China.In the meantime, I am happy to let these Laurentians do their thing in their country. This Albertan sees independence as the best way to get to real solutions.
