The folk that fun forgot are finally on the run.Yes, yet another iconic North American brand is discovering how trying to appease the endlessly woke crowd is a surefire way to go broke.It’s now the once-famous Victoria’s Secret lingerie company that’s paying a massive financial price for listening to those elitist moral guardians, engaged upon a seemingly endless crusade to suck every ounce of joy from life in their steadfast belief this somehow makes us better human beings.Fresh from the debacle that sank sales of Budweiser beer across the continent after it partnered with transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney — perhaps the most bizarre marketing stunt of all time — it’s now the company that became famous for its sexy lingerie discovering transgender and plus size models might get the thumbs up for inclusivity but receive a massive thumbs down from consumers.And, though it took a while to dawn on the numbskulls who abandoned years of building a brand so successful it became ubiquitous with their product, the penny dropped. Or rather didn’t drop, because it is the Victoria’s Secret bottom line that eventually lifted the brain fog senior management had been toiling in.How bad had things got? Well, the company’s recent share price is as revealing as any skimpy knickers they flogged back in their golden days.Three years ago the Victoria’s Secret stock stood at a sturdy 74 bucks a share. Today it lingers at a limp $17. That’s not surprising given company sales have drooped by a massive $1.8-billion a year with net income almost halved, since the company’s heyday back in 2018 — a time before embracing the idea its famous sexy lingerie needed to be more "culturally relevant."Really? Can you imagine for a moment, on a couple’s first wedding anniversary, the excited husband turning to his young spouse and saying: “Darling, let’s go shopping for some culturally relevant underwear to mark our special day.”Oh and if that wasn’t enough, the lingerie also needed to be functional. At least that’s what Megan Rapinoe, the well-known, pink-haired, US soccer player announced, after being hired by Victoria’s Secret as a brand spokeswoman.Rapinoe was quite blunt in assessing her new employer’s previous lingerie offerings, describing them as patriarchal, sexist and harmful.Then she regaled the New York Times — which was of course gleefully cheerleading this corporate change — with her own idea of what makes appealing lingerie. "I think functionality is probably the sexiest thing we could possibly achieve in life," she declared.(Hey, maybe they could have flogged parkas for brides-to-be rather than wedding dresses. After all, if the forecast predicts a wet and chilly big day ahead then what could be more functional than a parka for walking down the aisle?)Seriously though, is it any wonder the whole sad strategy turned out to be a complete disaster. That’s why the sexy models are returning as Victoria’s Secret tries to stop the slide. So maybe the tide is finally changing and soon we’ll no longer have to bow down before those elitist influencers that reign supreme in this dull new world. Perhaps men will one day be able to use their Gillette blades for the purpose originally intended — getting to those irritating little hairs under the nose — and not have to gaze into the mirror and break down in tears because they told a naughty joke at the company Christmas party two years ago, thereby displaying their toxic masculinity.Because eventually, money talks. And sometimes it even screams: let us live a little, for heaven’s sake. Let us have some fun.Chris Nelson is a Calgary writer and former editor-in-chief of the Calgary Sun.
